


Space Pet

by orphan_account, The_Fantabulous_Satan



Category: Original Work
Genre: Alien Character(s), Alien Culture, Alien/Human Relationships, Aliens, Breastfeeding, F/M, Far Future, Giants, IN SPACE!, Master/Pet, NSFW, Non-Human Humanoid Society, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pet Play, Pets, Phone Sex, Science Fiction, Size Difference, Slavery, Tags Are Hard, ddlg elements, humans as pets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-14
Updated: 2020-01-28
Packaged: 2021-01-30 12:00:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 19,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21427870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account, https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Fantabulous_Satan/pseuds/The_Fantabulous_Satan
Summary: Kate lives in one of the last populations of free humans in the galaxy. They balance on the edge of life and death, struggling to survive. As the leader of The Human Colony of Whatever, she knows she shouldn't want more, but she does.Zavian, a mysterious enochian, comes to her with a proposition and a promise. Leave everything she knows behind, to be pampered for the rest of her days, as a human pet.Torn between her duty to her people, and the desire to do more than just survive, Kate must choose between her own happiness and the greater good.
Relationships: Original Female Character/Original Male Character
Comments: 93
Kudos: 118





	1. Chapter 1

_ I know I'm privileged to live in a free colony. I just wish I had been privileged enough to live in a slightly nicer one. The water filter broke again last night. Jim and I spent all night trying to save her, but I think it's really done this time. In any case, we’ve got two weeks to figure out a way to get it back up before we run out of water. I don't know what to tell them, we’ve already been rationing for months, trying to reduce the strain, to keep this from happening. Jim says we should just keep quiet until we fail to pull a rabbit out of our asses. It's times like this I wonder how far emotions reach. Can passing ships feel my endless despair? I know the deeper I feel it the stronger it is. This morning I feel it in the depths of my soul. _

_ Today I feel… hopeless despair. _

She hits send and uploads the entry into her diary. She found a service that pays a few credits a week to upload, no matter if anyone reads it or not. Apparently they're trying to build the universe’s biggest emotional reservoir. Emotions are a jillion credit entertainment industry, and the non-empathic races are at the core of it. 

There's even a slave trade to support it these days, and 75% of all humans are bound to service. Those that live in freedom are fiercely protective of it. If anyone here knew about the blog she’d never hear the end of it. How she was prostituting herself to the very peoples that they had fought so hard to be free of. In school they're taught to vilify the races that had used them as cattle for so long.

She tries to keep a happy face on, afraid the others will see her worries, as she heads to work for the day. 

Everyone works here because it's the only way to keep the balance. They’re a self contained biodome on a planet that resisted the initial terraforming. It wasn't supposed to be a permanent settlement, and never intended to support a population this large. But it was where their ancestors were when the Great Rebellion happened, and the universe was forced to recognize Humanity among the sentient races.

They grow their own food, and produce their own energy. They are almost completely self contained, almost being the most important word in this moment.

Their systems were a thousand years out of date, and it was getting harder, and harder to find parts as the old ones broke down. They’ve cannibalised every nonessential system to keep the three big ones going; the grow lights, the dome heat, and the water filtration. If any of those go, the three thousand humans who call this place home are doomed to a very slow and uncomfortable death.

She’s stooped between the rows, carefully checking the soil moisture to see what needs irrigation and what can go without when the commotion starts. 

She looks up to see everyone abandoning the fields enmasse to head toward the airlock. Outside, beyond the dome a cloud of dust is slowly settling, something has been been delivered via orbital drop.

It's an uncommon enough occurrence that she too can't help but be curious. By the time she and the rest of the field workers arrive the AI delivery system is just coming through the secondary doors. 

“Kate?” Jim calls from the front of the crowd. She's the one he’s been training to take over, the Heir Apparent to the settlement so she doesn't think twice when he calls for her. 

When she makes her way to the front he pulls her in close to whisper in her ear.

“What the fuck did you order?”

“Nothing!”

“It’s security locked to your GA profile.”

A cold chill runs down her spine. She turns toward the box and the interface panel that asks, ‘Are you Kathleen Raleigh GID LSN142030?’

She hits confirm and it switches to asking for her DNA profile. She spits onto the outstretched sample collection and it flips green. 

The exterior shipping container draws back and what greets her is a giant blue box, almost as tall as she is, tied shut with a comically large bow.

It's a courting gift. 

Behind her she can hear the whispers, the judgement and condemnation in their voices is clear. 

Courting gifts are the last legal recourse to pull a free person back into slavery. It's a series of three gifts, all of them clearly wrapped in blue, the acceptance of each comes with a legal agreement on the part of the recipient. To accept the first is to accept the suit. Acceptance of the second is as good as getting engaged. You’re agreeing to not entertain any other offers. And if you accept the third you're their property, legally and for all time. 

She can't do this today. She got three hours of sleep last night before Jim called her to help fix the purifier and everything since has been one big pile of stress and worry. This is the thing that makes her crack.

“Send it back! How the fuck do you send it back?”

The crowd disperses quickly, no one wants to to be anywhere near the thing.

She keeps hitting the interface trying to get it to respond.

“Kate. Kate! Come on honey deep breaths.” 

Jim grabs her by both wrists and pulls her off it before she can break it in her panic and fury.

“I'm pretty sure you gotta open it first.”

“I don't want to open it! I want it to go away!”

He pulls her down the road a bit turning her so she doesn't have to look at it.

“I'm gonna take the top off, that should be enough for it to be considered open, then you just come back and push the button and we send it back. Okay?”

She nods. This is a good plan.

He lets her go and pushes the lid off the top, it lands with a dull thud and then a moment later a soft, “Holy fuck,” can be heard from Jim.

She turns slowly and at first she's not sure what she's looking at. It's a mess of clear tubes, bundled together in groups. Jim, is crouched next to it reading something.

“I'm not telling you what to do. I’m absolutely not telling you to accept it, but it's a water filter that can handle every drop of liquid in our system in under an hour.” 

“I need to go.”

“Take all the time you need.” 

She hurries back to the small apartment she calls home locking the door behind her for the first time in her life. 

She paces the room, out her window she can still see the thing sitting there mocking her surrounded by a halo of blue. 

Over the next several hours she keeps pacing until fury over takes good sense and she sits down at her data pad. This morning’s entry has one view. Just one.

_ Who the fuck do you think you are? You unapologetic bastard how very fucking dare you? You were the only one who knew. You know why I can't return it, why I have to keep it. It's a fucking dirty trick and this is why we hate you. _

_ Today I feel… betrayed and angry. _

She waits until the evening cycle starts and all the lights turn off leaving the dome cloaked in darkness, the stars are the only guide as she steals her way under cover of darkness back to her big blue doom.

The screen has changed.

‘Would you like to…’

‘Accept this gift.’

‘Reject this gift.’

Warning rejection of a gift bars the offering party from making any further advances.

The whole system is unfairly biased against her but she hits accept anyway.

She spends the rest of the night putting the damn thing together. It's actually a pretty simple system. It uses gravity and a series of filters to remove particulate down to a molecular level. There are no electronic parts, no sensors or expensive systems to break, in fact it will keep producing drinkable water with 90% of the filters missing. 

She's sliding the last piece in place when the lights come on making her cover her eyes until they can adjust.

“If it helps I would have taken it too.”

She lowers her hand to find Jim walking toward her carrying a bowl.

“Thanks.” 

She takes the offered bowl and tucks in.

“Did you get any sleep?”

“No. I knew I had to take it. Fuck. They knew I had to take it that's why they sent it.”

“You did the right thing.”

“I know. It's just underhanded bullshit.”

“Because someone should ask you to sell your life for a pretty dress and a crate of protein supplements? No matter what happens, and no matter what they say, you just remember you didn't lay down for baubles and trinkets. You did it for the lives of each and every person here. I'll finish tearing the old one down. We can use the power regulator for the lights. You go get a nap and a shower, I hear water restrictions have been lifted. Someone fixed the plumbing issue.”

She manages to avoid everyone on the way back coming in to find her data pad blinking. She scoops it up as she heads for the bed.

One unread message.

_ Okay. But do you like it? _

She rolls her eyes and hits reply.

_ It's very nice. It solves a lot of our problems and will be very easy to upkeep and repair. Thank you. _

She shoves the pad under her pillow and flops down fully clothed, too tired to change. She's nearly asleep when the tablet chimes again. The bastard can fuck off until she gets a nap.

It's early afternoon when she wakes up and finally looks at the message. 

_ It is very nice. I had to ask a few experts on closed environments what was the best for your situation but that's not what I asked. I asked if you like it. It's okay if you don't. I’ve been following your blog for about a year and there are only so many miracles that will put that relic back together. I'm also sorry if you feel I over reached. Although I must admit that even written and two galactic systems away your anger burned like an ember in my hands and I enjoyed your rage. You never feel one thing at a time, your emotions jumble together into things I've never felt before. The very chance that the colony could collapse, and you would stop writing, or worse even feeling, all the very unique things that make you so very special was simply an unacceptable outcome. _

_ Zavian Da’Len _

_ _

There is a sudden absence in the force behind her anger. She tries to remind herself that it's all trickery and subterfuge designed to break her resistance. He has no reason to be honest when she can't tell if it's real.

She heads to the shower and turns it on full blast. She's almost forgotten the simple joy of it. When she finally finishes she reads the message again chewing over how to answer. 

_ I'm not sure how much one can really ‘like’ an industrial water filter. I appreciate the thought behind it. I really liked my shower when I finally got up to get one. I’m glad you’re enjoying the blog but did it really have to be a courting gift? If you're getting any shame attached it's because Jim might be the only person on this planet who doesn't hate me right now.  _

_ Kate Raleigh _

She heads down to the evening meal with everyone else. The moment she steps in the doors everyone falls silent looking at their own plates. She lifts her chin and puts her shoulders back. She hasn't betrayed anything. She's done what had to be done to keep them safe. It's what leaders do, not because they are loved for those choices but because they love the people they're trying to care for. In the end she gets her tray and walks out of the cafeteria head still high. No one wants her there right now anyway.

There's another message waiting when she gets back.

_ Dearest Kate, _

_ Yes it really had to be an official courting gift. There is the obvious and purely selfish reason that you have been so much of the last year of my life and you didn't even know I existed. I wanted to be the cause of something you felt. I wanted to burn in the center of the fire of your passions not just stand to the side to bask in its glow. There is also the other, less romantic, and more practical reason. I can not afford to do anything even remotely questionable. I work with Terrans and any chance that I was attempting to circumvent the laws would ruin my career. That said, legally I'm allowed to send you anything I want now. Hopefully I can get shame joy or embarrassed happy.  _

_ Zavian Da’Len _

Over the next day as she attempts to work she can hear the sound of several, thankfully smaller, drops. With each one landing she tries not to smile. She refuses to let him interrupt her life and keeps working only going to see what it is while the others are at dinner. 

It's a weird combination of practical and luxury. He sent her new work boots, three pairs one in her size one half a size up and one half a size down. She already knows who's getting the extras. There's a box full of sugared candies, each with a planet of origin and a brief description. She rolls her eyes and keeps opening. There's fabric for clothing and a big wide brimmed hat. One box is covered in warnings written in an alien language she can't read so she just drags it back to her apartment.

_ You seriously shouldn't do that. I don't need any of these things. And I don't even know what this says but it looks important.  _

_ Kate Raleigh  _

She attaches a photo of the box sitting in the middle of her apartment.

_ Dearest Kate, _

_ It says please stand back when opening as it will expand rapidly to it's full size. And you do need them. You complain every irrigation day about the hole in your boots stitching that lets the water through. And I will never forget your 'freckle freak out.' I’ve been told that hat’s are a great way to combat that problem by the young woman who taught me to read English. You might not need the fabric but I'm sure you will make use of it anyway. There's a whole Universe beyond the shelter of your dome there are a million things that I want to show you but for now I’m sending you things from every world I’ve visited in the last year. I travel a lot with my job and I’ve seen more than a hundred worlds over the course of my career but it's always nice to come home too. I’m spending the evening in my garden. I’ve been considering putting a pond in. Something to paddle around in when the weather gets warm. What do you think?  _

_ Zavian Da’Len _

There's a photo attached of what could be a forest if it wasn't clearly manicured. Stone paths and benches wind off to disappear behind more lush greenery than she's ever seen in one place and down at the very bottom of the frame are two over large, fairly human looking feet sticking up like he's lounging.

In that moment she realises several things. Firstly that she had been afraid of what he might look like. There's still a frightening number of possibilities. Second is how curious she suddenly is about him. How many Humans does he own, what does he do for a living, what planet is he actually on that he has a garden like that? The list goes on until she's dizzy with the possibilities. 

She turns her attention instead to the last box dragging it to the middle of her living room. She pulls the end open and there's a hiss as the seal breaks and it starts to expand. She steps back and lets it get to its full size. 

It’s fucking huge. It's a giant circle that's soft to the touch and warms up against her hand she immediately sends him another message.

_ Alright Zavian I give up, what the fuck is it? Because it's big and green and weird and I still have no idea what the fuck it is.  _

The comm pad begins to play a happy little tune and she freezes looking at the screen. It's never done  _ that _ before.

‘Incoming transmission…’

‘Incoming transmission…’

‘Incoming…’

“Hello?” Her heart is in her throat as she answers. 

“It’s a bed.” His voice is deeper than she would have expected and he has the perfect diction of some one paying attention to each word.

“It doesn't look like a bed.” She pokes it with her toe. It's too round for a bed in her opinion.

“It very much does, just not the sort your accustomed to. Go ahead and get on.”

“It might eat me.” She half smiles at her own little joke.

“It won't eat you.” He laughs.

“Okay I'm sitting on it.” She lies still unwilling to risk it.

“No you're not. Besides If you don't like it we’ll get rid of it and try something else. You never answered me about the pond either. Would you enjoy a little pond in the summer or are you more interested in a shady bench and a soft breeze?”

The full implication of the question hits her. He’s planning for a future where she's there, as a slave. 

“I don't… I don't know. We don't have seasons so it's never too hot here and the uh… the water’s on a closed system so there's no where to swim. So I don't, uh, swim.”

“Okay well what about the bed?”

“I think I'm gonna stick with my own bed. I like it. As I said I don't need any of this. I just I need...”

“You need to take a breath. I’m not asking for you to commit to anything. I just want to spoil you a little. I’ll drop garden renovations completely if you help me decorate a bedroom.”

“My bedroom.” Her gilded cage.

She takes a deep breath. 

"If you want it but that wasn't my original intention. I'm decorating the whole place. But there's a balcony that overlooks the city, and the setting star lines up between the twin Johdor mountains, and fills it with this beautiful natural light. It's a very impressive view. But I want to be able to tell those that visit that each item was chosen and put there by the most amazing, interesting, fantastic girl I've ever met."

"Now you're just flattering me."

"But it's working. Get on the bed for me Kitten. It's all I want in the world right now." His voice goes softer after he calls her Kitten like he had been waiting for her reaction. 

"Really because you haven't exactly been the paragon of restraint so far."

"Alright. I'll make you a deal." She can hear it as his voice pitches lower and it almost feels like they're kids sneaking around and it makes the small hairs on the back of her neck stand up. "You get on the bed and I won't bring up anything about you getting off that terrible little rock for a cycle."

"Nothing? Really?"

"I am however going to invite you to watch the Eriala Nebula collapse. I am mentioning it now since we still don't have a deal. But in ten Galactic Days the Eriala Nebula is collapsing and I will be attending the viewing and I would like to share that experience with you."

"That's…" her heart kicks up in her chest. 

"It's called a date. I'll bring you back afterwards and everything. You can take two days off from-"

She sits on the bed and the moment she sinks into it he stops talking.

"It takes two days to get there?"

"No. It takes maybe a third of one to make the trip."

"So why two days?"

"How long do you think it takes a Nebula to collapse?"

"I… don't know." 

"It's a unique celestial event and I would like very much to share it with you. But I also do not want to betray our deal so, if you would like to attend, I will be more than happy to take you."

"How did you even know I got on the bed? I mean are there spy cameras?"

"You carry this, anger I suppose. It's not the right word but your people don't care too much to give words emotions and in mine the emotion itself is the word. I can feel it run out of you at times. Like when you spoke about your shower, or Jim, things that bring light to your Kaia. I am also familiar with how comfortable that bed is."

She lays back on the bed testing the give of the mattress.

"My kai-what?" 

"I'm sorry. Adra says a Kaia is like your soul. It is the pieces of the universe that become pieces of you, the moments and experiences that become the individual. And you're laughing at me."

"I am not! I did not laugh even a little."

"Oh? So it only counts when you make a noise that is dismissive of the things we believe. I see. I will remember that you do not believe your actual feelings matter more than what you consciously express."

"Ok, now you're the one doing the laughing and mocking."

"What? Never! I neither laughed nor mocked."

"Alright! I get it."

"You're beautiful like that you know."

She looks around really wondering if there were actually cameras hidden somewhere.

"You can't see me."

"Why must beauty only exist in the eye. Does not song and touch and feeling bring a joy that the eye can not know? Is beauty not in all things? Does not the smell of a lover or the touch of a kindred move one to heights that the eye alone can not know? For I say beauty is in all things. It transcends all that can be found by the senses and exists instead in a place beyond and can only be known."

"That's…" She doesn't have words to put to the glowing warmth it brings to her soul.

"Exactly. It's one of my favorites. Mi'shyn was one of our greatest poets. I'm glad you can still understand it through the translation."

There's a few moments where they just sit in silence as Kate considers what her life has become. Probably everyone here would consider this whoring. She's just talking, about life and beauty.

"Kitten?"

"Yeah?" He pulls her up out of her introspection.

"You should never be ashamed of having dreams bigger than the life you were handed. There's no shame in wanting more, or less of anything. You don't have to cut yourself into pieces to be everything to everyone."

"They all hate me." 

She shouldn't be telling him this. She shouldn't be putting this ugly thing out there in front of someone who can feel her emotions.

"I doubt they hate you. Likely they're worried and scared. Your people are like a very large rock, delicately balanced on a very small point. You are not the only one who fears it's going to fall. They still love you, very much. They wouldn't be so upset if they didn't."

She can't stop the way the tears start rolling freely down her face. She's not even sure what she feels any more. She's scared and excited and angry and sad. 

"I'm sorry, fuck I didn't ever want to put this on you."

"Never ever be sorry for that. If you'll forgive me a bit of my own De'rah, it's why I find you so irresistible. I don't know another with so much pain in their Kaia and yet it does not destroy you. You make me believe that it is possible to live in the dark places and let them make us stronger."

She's humbled, honored and comforted by his words all at once.

"I don't even know what Duruh is."

He laughs and either she's getting to know him or he's letting his guard down a little because it sounds tinged in his own sorrow.

"De'rah, are the darker things. Anger, rage, sorrow, the sort of emotions that if allowed to flow unchecked through a society where each individual can feel what another feels will tear it to the ground. We fight it's spread by keeping beings that can not feel what we feel. Emotions that are completely untied to the building wave of De'rah to break it's grasp on us. We are never supposed to feel those things."

"Thank you."

"You should get some sleep my Kitten. There is much work to be done in the morning."

"There's always more work."

"Not here. I am planning a late breakfast before I go back to furbishing the house."

"What?"

"Is that the wrong word?"

"I don't think that's a word at all." 

She laughs and he chuckles in return.

"I'm still learning. Good night Kitten."

"Night Zave."

The line clicks off and she lays in her giant squishy bed staring at her ceiling both exhausted and energized all at once.

[Clickable link for Athena's Go Fund me for her heartworms](https://www.gofundme.com/f/5a4tuu-athena039s-heartworm-treatment?utm_source=customer&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_campaign=p_cp+share-sheet)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is this? Comments? Holy shit now I remember why I go to all the trouble of posting when it's so much easier to leave it in Docs and only share with my BFF

_ You should never be ashamed of having dreams bigger than the life you were handed. _

_ All my life I have been told I was ungrateful for dreaming at all.  _

_ Everyone I know has made me feel like shit for looking at anything that isn't inside this dome. Today living in freedom does not feel like a privilege. It feels like a burden I am forced to bear to appease the ideal of a free and independent Terran World and to have something for someone else to dream of. I already know that the life I covet is also one of slavery. I know my decisions would only condemn every generation to follow. But honestly, is it so terrible to dream about it? _

_ Today I feel… ungrateful. _

She goes to breakfast and sits at the same table she's sat at for two years. No one even looks at her. 

After breakfast she takes the fabric over to community storage and intentionally leaves it on top of the rest so they'll be forced to move it before they can get to the recycled scraps. 

She takes her spot tending the sprouts and weeding. There have been days when she worked alone but it doesn't even hold a candle to standing three feet away from someone who won't even ask you to pass a tool but would rather get up and walk past you to borrow one from someone else. By lunch she's done with this bullshit and skips the mess entirely to go back to her room and stare at her data pad. 

She pulls up the messaging app.

_ You busy? _

It's the middle of the day he's probably got tons of- her comm chimes.

Nevermind.

She pulls up the response. 

_ Not if you need me Kitten. Everything alright? You feel upset. _

_ Zavian Da'Len _

_ I'm just having a rough day. Not used to the silent treatment.  _

_ Have you ever been to an Opera? _

_ Zavian Da'Len _ .

_ We're not exactly overflowing with the arts here so no. I also thought you weren't going to try and get me off planet outside the Nebula thingy? _

The pad rings and when she answers music fills the room. She doesn't know the language or what it's about or even what's going on in the story but none of that matters. She crawls into her new bed and props the pad up beside her and listens quietly for over an hour. 

The door to her apartment opens and Jim puts his head in she holds one finger to her lips to hush him. He just smiles, nods and backs out leaving a bowl on her desk.

Hours pass before the performance ends and she can hear whistles and polite clapping.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it. Also my mother thinks you're adorable."

"Your… Mother?"

"If I am not mistaken that is the correct term for the birth-giving parent."

"Yeah, but like I didn't know she was like, there. Why does your Mother think I'm adorable?"

"You are aware that we can feel you over the comms right? You feel very strongly, so I'm not sure how many people felt you, but at least the six of us."

"Six?!?!" She cried.

"Yes, myself, my sister, both of her husbands, and our parents. My sister is trying to get your celestial coordinates, don't give them to her, she'll never love you like I do." 

He laughs and speaks in a clipped language that doesn't even sound remotely human. 

"I'm sorry, I'm just gonna let you go so you can spend time with your family."

"They prefer that I should spend my time with you." There's a sudden absence of background noise like a door shut behind him. 

"I don't want to bother-"

"You're not a bother. Did you eat tonight? It's pretty early there isn't it?"

There's a thrill in being a priority to him that makes a smile tug at the edge of her lips.

"I uh skipped lunch but Jim brought me food."

"You need to eat Kitten. You're making it hard to keep my promises."

"I will, I just wanted to talk to you." 

"I want you to feel like you can talk to me. Or anything else you need without feeling like I'm," he sighs " _ infringing on your right to be self sufficient. _ " He sounds like he's repeating word for word something someone else told him and he thinks it's bullshit.

She laughs.

"I am self sufficient. We've survived for a thousand years here without your help."

"And I am very impressed, but that doesn't mean I like worrying about you. There's more to life than survival. There's happiness and music and art. You know that thing you don't have time for around all your self sufficiency."

"I don't like you right now."

She feels worse now than when she called because now she's not just on the edge of a world that doesn't want her, she's a million miles away from the one that does.

"Zave? Are you sure they'll forgive me someday?"

There's a long silence from the other end of the line.

"I don't have an answer for you that isn't self serving. I want you to be happy and telling you they will forgive you makes you happy to the very center of your being. If I tell you they won't it will only feed this thing that is growing inside you. Your desire to walk away from them and join me here, where you are desperately wanted. But it has to be because I didn't push it. I can't… I can't live with losing you."

"Hey Zave it's okay." She doesn't need to be an Empath to know he's getting upset. 

"I wish you were here tonight. It was easier because it was shared but it feels like a part of my Kaia is just gone and I am empty."

"You're not empty, it's just that when things hurt really bad they make everything less important really quiet. So that's how you know how important it really was."

"You might be the most beautiful creature in all of creation."

"You need to meet more people mister."

He laughs, a half choked thing like it bubbled up between suppressed tears refusing to be contained.

"Would it be offensive if I sent you currency? To just pay for whatever you won't admit you need. So I can be sure you're not struggling and you can keep being independent."

"Would it make you feel better?"

"Would you use it?"

"What if I spend all your money?"

"If you spend all my money I'll be pretty impressed."

Life on the edge of known space is expensive. She doubts he has any idea how much damage she could really do. 

"I do aim to please. So just tell me if I'm getting close to what you're uncomfortable with."

"I'll have Adra set you up your own account."

"I'm probably going to buy some really boring shit, like sealant."

"I would fucking love to buy you sealant."

"And tubing, god so much tubing."

"Oh yeah? Keep talking industrial supplies to me baby it's fucking sexy."

It's her turn to laugh unbidden. It happens a lot with him, more than anyone else she can remember. 

"Well if you like that you should see the regulating timers and the heat dispersion panels I'm about to replace."

"Wow. Uh… is that what… huh-"

"You okay Zave?"

"I was mistaken about what that word meant and now I'm locked in a private room at the opera and that's all I can think about."

"Heat dispersion panels?"

"You, laid out naked on that little bed, feeling… that… for more than a fraction of a second."

She flushes head to toe at the very mention of it. She hadn't consciously thought about that particular possibility until this moment when her whole body reacts positively to the idea.

"I… uh…"

"You are so beautiful like that but, I'm not at home."

"I um, I guess I will talk to you tomorrow. When we can talk about,  _ this _ ."

"I look forward to talking about  _ this. _ "

"Good night Zavian."

"Good night Kitten."

She lays on the bed for a long time staring at the ceiling just considering the possibility. 

She will never get that here. She's known that since Teddy broke up with her for Caroline when they were 12. They don't exactly have the best genetic pool and he was her only option. By the time she even knew what sex was she had already learned to ignore things she couldn't have. The problem now is she can have them, but first she has to betray everyone she's ever known and loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also Stasia has taken over the work of replying so I don't do that thing where I stress TF out and refresh my stats a million times. You are all brilliant. Tell me everything. Say nice things so my bestie will call me and read them to me and remind me I don't want to keep hiding where it's safe.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Wednesday My Dudes!

Every speaker, on every system, with even the slightest bit of power begins screaming in unison. 

"CRITICAL FAILURE. CRITICAL FAILURE. PLEASE VACATE THE STATION IMMEDIATELY. PLEASE VACATE THE STATION IMMEDIATELY. A CRITICAL SYSTEM FAILURE HAS OCCURRED."

The message plays on loop. 

Kate's halfway down the hall before she's even awake, she pounds on doors and those whose occupants do not answer get their evening rudely trod upon. 

"UP! UP! EVERYBODY UP! I WILL KICK THIS FUCKING DOOR DOWN I DON'T CARE!"

Eventually she meets Jim at the entrance to the command center, the only building capable of sealing itself off from the rest of the dome. 

"Head count?"

She starts pulling on the old environmental suit. They've only got two left.

"1164… you and I make sixty six. We're missing someone."

"Count again, it's easier to find them if I know who it is."

"I've already got Teddy double checking."

Kate pulls the air tank onto her back and checks the gauge. Twenty percent. Did they forget to fill it? Fuck. It doesn't matter. There isn't another option.

"What set the system off?"

"We're losing pressure and the sensors are going crazy because it's going so fast we're losing heat and air, We've got a leak."

"It'll be fine. Just like last time right? Go slap some sealant on that bitch and bam we're in business." 

He hands her the spray can.

"If it's worse than that you should think about calling for help. You don't have to die here with us."

"Look here old man. My family has kept this fucking thing from falling to pieces for a thousand years. It's not going to hell under my watch. Either everyone makes it or no one does. If we die tonight we all die together."

"If we die it will serve you right for whoring out to that _ thing _." Caroline grumbles. 

"I don't remember asking you a goddamn thing." Kate snaps back 

"You did this. You and that freak you invited into our lives." Caroline 

"Care- this isn't the time or the place. Why don't you go down and talk to your mom while I help up here."

Teddy kisses his wife on the temple and waits for her to head down into the safety below.

"Hey Kate can I talk to you privately for a minute."

"We don't have a minute. We don't have enough time to discuss how little time we have."

"Charlie Thomas is missing so there's a chance he popped the dome."

Charlie wasn't the brightest, or the fastest, or good for anything much at all outside of being the absolute nicest person ever. 

"Who was the last person to see him? Was he at dinner?"

A thousand questions run through her head. Is it possible he just got scared by the alarm? Where would he hide?

"Honestly I don't know. I didn't want anyone to worry so I told his mother he was locked down up here with you so she didn't cause a panic." 

Teddy is already putting on the second suit.

"What are you doing?"

"Said it yourself. There isn't enough time to argue with me. I've been trained on the suit. You can sweep the dome. Shut off sections of sensors one by one. When the alarm stops you know you found it. Then just go over that section. I'll go through the storage the mess and then the forest. Those are Charlie's favorite places to hide."

"You have maybe two hours of air so try to work fast." Jim begins reinforcing the seals on the suit with patch tape. "You two be careful, these should have working comms so channel one is base camp chanel two should be each other. Try to check in on the regular."

Hugs are traded and Kate heads for the dome to take Teddy's advice.

"Base camp doing a radio check. How you doin?"

"Stop playing with the Comms Jim."

She hits the breaker panel for the sensor array on the dome and begins pulling power one section at a time starting at the top and working her way down. 

"Make me. I don't suppose Zavian wants to help? Because someone outside would be huge right now."

"Is that his name?" Teddy pauses for a second before, "It is a him right?"

As she knocks out each section and the alarms don't stop she starts to worry that there's a multiple breach situation. That's something she's not prepared to handle. 

"Yes it's a him. I think. We don't talk about that."

"What, uh, do you talk about?" Teddy sounds genuinely curious. 

"Mostly about how your wife's a bitch and should shut her fat bitch mouth. Why? Do you want to end up a pariah too?"

She pulls the last coupling and the alarms stop screaming.

"We got a leak ground floor guys. Somewhere in the bottom three feet so keep your eyes on the floor incase there's a crack in the base."

"I'll start near the waste treatment plant and go toward the forest. If you start there and head for the fields we can cover it in half the time."

She wants to tell him to fuck off. 

"Thanks Teddy."

"You're welcome Doodle."

"Seriously? Like seriously? No one's called me Doodle since forever." Kate groans.

"Since we were twelve?"

Yes.

"Fuck no. You're not special Theodore."

"I've missed you, you can't stay mad at me forever Doodle."

"Watch me fuck face."

She got over him dumping her a long time ago. But Caroline has been the bane of her existence ever since.

"I'm still sorry. It was pretty fucked up but I was a kid and I didn't…"

"Didn't dump me literally at my father's pyre and then go make out with Caroline?" Okay, maybe she's still a little mad.

"I didn't want to end up like him. In case you didn't notice you're the last Raleigh. Life here is hard enough without watching you die doing some crazy shit like running around the dome hoping we find and patch a leak. What's plan B? Because I'll bet your plan is to kill yourself trying."

"Nuh uh."

Bastard has no right to know her like that.

"Doodle, just promise your not going to do something crazy, like sell yourself to that thing just to fix this. We'll make it we always do."

Kate looks up and sees Charlie sitting right against the wall.

"I found Charlie."

She refuses to admit that begging Zavian to bale them out was an option. 

She jogs over, he doesn't look so good.

"Charlie? Hey what's goin on buddy didn't you hear the alarm?"

"Every time I move it gets worse."

Kate isn't sure what he's talking about until she comes around and sees his entire arm buried in an electrical panel. 

"Okay buddy let's get you out." 

It takes the better part of an hour to get him out during which time she electrocutes herself two dozen times. Charlie was right, every single time he moved he made it worse. Once Charlie's out of the panel she disconnects the sections he damaged and the alarm turns itself off. 

"False alarm guys. Just a broken component." 

She holds the little piece of charred plastic and wire in her hand.

"I knew you could do Doodle."

She wants to tell him to stop calling her that. She wants to tell him to go home to his wife. She wants their song to stop running through her head.

"Thanks Teddy. You were pretty handy yourself." 

She heads back to Jim's so she can get out of the suit and back into bed. 

*****

She's going to kill whoever's playing with the jukebox. 

The song starts over again and she vaguely remembers that song but she can't quite place it.

It's her Comm! 

She stumbles out of bed and picks it up fumbling for the right button.

"Hello?"

"Fuck shedan lat. Are you okay?" He sounds panicked and for a moment she can't understand why.

"Huh? Oh yeah, we just had a thing last night so we reset the night cycle so everyone could get back to sleep."

"You had a thing? I'm not sure that's a real sentence."

She drops heavily back into her bed.

"Charlie broke one of the pressure sensors that tell us if we have a leak. So it kept telling us we were leaking air at like a way bad rate. So like everyone was up all night so we just reset the night cycle so everyone can get some sleep."

"There's been a distress beacon projecting from your area of space for the last eight galactic hours and you haven't been answering your comms."

"I was asleep." She pulls her pillow tighter to her chest.

"I have never in my life wanted to spank a Terran like I want to right this moment."

She half laughs, half humms.

"Really? Like ever?"

"This isn't funny."

"It's a little funny. You're losing your mind and it's not even like a big deal. We need a new thingy to replace the one that broke and then we'll hook it up and it will tell us if there's actually a leak. Dome pressure is holding pretty steady so it's unlikely but if it is its tiny and we'll fix it before we have to tell anyone."

"That's… that is a bad plan Kitten."

"Teddy said the same thing about calling you."

There's silence from the other end of the line. 

"Zave?"

"Yeah?" He's definitely pissed.

"You okay?"

"This wasn't the conversation I wanted to have today."

"What?"

"Kate, yesterday was, something really special. And as long as I live it's going to be one of my fondest memories. I feel closer to you than ever. Theadore is not a topic where I will be objective or kind and I doubt he is either of these things in relation to me either."

"Zavian he's just…" she scrambles for a word that isn't jealous.

"Are you surprised? Kitten, I am literally in a ship that was headed your way because I was afraid something awful had happened to you. You think _ I'm not _ jealous? Kitten I'd come live in that awful little pod if I could. Just to be near you. Come home with me Kitten. There will always be another crisis. It's a never ending thing. They'll manage just as well after you're gone."

"Zave don't do this."

"I'm not sure exactly what you're asking me not to do Kitten. I can feel you wanting to say yes. What I don't understand is why you would ever say no."

"It's complicated." She punches the pillow.

"I have time, explain it to me."

"I'm going back to sleep. I'll call you tomorrow night."

"I look forward to it. Then you can explain your attachment to that trash pit."

"Good night Zavian."

She hangs up on him before he has a chance to respond peeved he was pushing the issue despite his promises.

Her Comm chimes and she stares at it scowling for a minute before finally picking it up.

_ Goodnight Kitten. _

_ Zavian Da'Len _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't forget we're still raising money for Athena's heartworm treatments so spread the word post it to every animal group you can think of you never know who might be in a mood to help the sweetest girl!  
Also as the owner of 3 wonderful cats(sightsoblind) I would like to remind you there is no treatment for heartworm in cats only prevention. So do right by your boys and girls and make sure their on their meds.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Wednesday My dudes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember that phone sex I tagged for?

She stares at the buy button. It's stupid right? He said things she needs and she's struggling with that definition right now.

There's more to life than survival.

She clicks the button.

* * *

"What the fuck are you listening to?" 

She doesn't even look up when she responds to Caroline.

"It's the Enochian Royal Opera. Did you need something."

"I need you to stay the fuck away from my husband."

"Honey I try not to go near him at all but we don't exactly have…"

Caroline sniffs and Kate finally looks up. 

Her eyes are puffy and red from crying and every thing Teddy said last night takes a completely different meaning.

"You don't get to ruin everything and take him too. It's not fair and it's not right. I won't let you have him without a fight. He's my only chance at having a family too you know."

She tries to remember how long the two have been married. She knows people don't talk about them having kids any more but Kate can't remember when that stopped. Babies are a big deal here.

"I don't want to take him from you. I don't want him at all. It's been ten years since I cared."

"Don't give me that shit Kathrine. I know somethings going on. I'm not fucking stupid. Stay away from Teddy."

She stomps off leaving Kate both confused and curious.

* * *

_ Clearly Terrans are breeding in captivity. How does that work? _

_ I can see you have given this a lot of thought. To specifically answer your question generally a male mounts a female in a reproductive act called sex which results in conception of a child. Are children something you want in your lifetime? _

_ Zavian Da'Len _

Kate just rolls her eyes.

_ I just meant that here we have to be careful to prevent issues. By the time we hit puberty we're pretty aware of our options for getting married. Both myself and Caroline only had Teddy. Long story short he chose her. So I didn't really think about things like that any more. It wasn't an option.  _

Seconds after she hits send her comm rings.

"So this requires a call Zave?"

"I wanted to feel you better. You were upset when we left off and I've been worried."

She picks at the tiny bit of burnt wire in her hands. The deeper she got the more damage she found. The stress of that added to the bull shit with Caroline had her forgetting about him being a shit this morning.

"Yeah you promised not to push and then you did."

"Well I apologise. Now what's really bothering you."

"She accused me of trying to take Teddy. And he was like super nice to me last night. And I was just, like wondering if I go with you, is there even an option to like, have a real family."

"If that's something you want, then yes. Arrangements are constantly being made to either allow Terrans to have a life mate, or to simply make arrangements for conception. Are you asking to bring Theadore with you?"

She laughs.

"No, Teddy and Caroline need to work their own whatever out, I just need to know what my options are."

"Everything." He says it softly enough she's not sure she heard him right.

"What?"

"Thinking out loud, what are you doing right now?" 

"I'm picking through the deconstructed bits of the sensor array, trying to find anything worth keeping."

"Are you alone?"

"Yeah I'm back in my rooms."

"Put the sensors down Kitten. Let's try something else for a minute."

"This needs to get done, that's why I just sent you a message."

"Alright. But I am no longer in public, you are not grumpy because I woke you up worried in the middle of what you decided was going to be night, because you apparently do that there, and we had things we were going to… discuss."

Everything she knows about sensor arrays falls right out of her head.

"Why don't you get someplace more comfortable." His voice is low, and soft. Suddenly she is struck with a sudden case of nerves about the whole thing.

"I don't…"

"We're just talking Kitten. You've already proven you're not afraid to hang up on me. You can always do that again if you like."

She moves to sit on the edge of the bed. 

"So what did you want to talk about?" She tries to force her voice to sound casual.

"Tell me how you like to be touched."

"I don't- I mean I never-"

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes but-"

"No buts, just listen. Take your clothes off and get laid down."

Her hands shake as she slips her shirt over her head, and slides her pants to the floor.

"Do you have a mirror?"

"What do I need a mirror for?"

"I wanted you to see yourself. Maybe another time. Like when I've got you in my lap spread wide, so we can explore your body together."

She sits down suddenly, sure her legs are going to give out. 

"Touch your breasts Kitten. Feel the weight of them, let your hands slide over them. Don't forget your nipples, I would love to see them filled with milk straining in fullness until I could suckle you dry once more."

She does as he asks a strange tightness building in her body. Her breath coming faster and shorter as the sensation builds.

"Oh god…"

"Would you let me lick your pussy Kitten? Is it already wet for me? Do you want me between your thighs making you scream on my tongue? I dream about waking up to you crawling onto my face, grinding down onto my mouth demanding I make you cum, before we even get out of bed for the day. I think about slipping my fingers inside of you, during formal events when you can't mute your emotions, and the whole building can feel it when you cum for me."

Her hand slides down to her soaking pussy. She pushes aside the stray thought that she'll need dry sheets after this, and begins to let her fingers trace back and forth over her opening.

She's aware that there is a general in and out, but how much and how deep has always been a puzzle that she ignored. Now she finds her lack of knowledge on the subject frustrating. 

"You are so fucking sexy. Do you wanna cum for me Kitten?"

"I don't..."

"Shh don't worry we'll do it together. Come all the way forward, find the spot just at the top of your pussy that feels really good when you touch it. Now don't stop. Harder. Now little circles. That's right just like that. Right there. Fuck I would give anything to have you wrapped around my cock. Keep going we're almost there.”

She can feel it building in her body, like an electric current ready to overload. Her head and her heart scream at her to stop. But Zavian tells her to keep going, and so she does throwing herself into whatever comes next.

"Oh fuck!" He cries out in the same moment everything becomes too much forcing her to pull her hand back as she is overcome.

When it passes she just stares at the ceiling, trying to make her heart stop beating out of her chest.

"You are so beautiful when you're spent and satisfied."

"I need to change my sheets."

He laughs and she nearly dies of embarrassment. She's not sure why she said that at all.

"I am proud of having broken your ability to think, but we can let that wait for now. You can always just sleep on the other side of the bed."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also I have just started to write the sex and now I am just spending hours squirming as I edit it and soak my panties. I think I need to add more tags like Cum stuffing and such.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Wednesday My Dudes

"Hey Doodle." 

She had been so deep in her own thoughts, she hadn't even noticed Teddy until he was sitting down next to her.

"Did you need something?"

"I just wanted to talk. How you been?"

"Excuse me." She stands up trying to leave. Neither Zavian, nor Caroline, would be okay with this conversation, and that's enough for her.

"Doodle wait! Please I just wanna talk. Caroline and I were talking, and we're going to be separating. It's just not working out."

Kate stops, and turns back, needing to know.

"Does this have anything to do with the fact that she's barren?" 

"What? No!" He steps toward her putting a hand on her wrist. "Kate I made a mistake. I just want another chance-- I was young and stupid."

She doesn't believe him. He doesn't even bother to look at her when he says it. 

"Bye Teddy." She pushes out of the mess hall into the street. 

Teddy follows close behind screaming.

"I HEARD YOU LAST NIGHT! WHORING FOR THAT THING. YOU'RE BETRAYING EVERYTHING OUR PEOPLE FOUGHT FOR KATHERINE RALEIGH!"

She feels like she's going to puke. There's at least five hundred people on the street and the Lunch hall is almost full.She goes directly back to her room, and locks the door behind her, before sinking to the floor in shame. 

She reaches for her comm.

"Hello Beautiful!"

"Hey." Her attempt to sound casual fails, as her voice cracks.

"I'll fucking kill him." Zavian growls possessively, and she wants to wrap herself in that small comfort. There's no hiding her hurt from someone who can feel what she does not say.

"Zavian stop."

"I don't get why you let them do this to you."

"Zavian I want to go." She whispers.

"I can be there in two days. If you can't wait that long, I can have a ship pick you up and we can meet in the middle."

"I'll see you in two days."

"Can I ask what happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it. I just don't want to be here anymore."

"It's going to be okay Kitten. There's a whole universe past your Dome, and I can't wait to show you all of it."

"Can't wait to see it."

* * *

Two days feels like forever. She writes out her will, and packs up her few personal items in under an hour. Then she sets to cleaning her room. 

That's done before dinner.

She sits on the edge of her bed, she considers calling Zavian back, and taking him up on the offer to send a ship to meet her halfway. That however, feels like the cowards way out, and there are at least a few people she owes goodbyes to. 

She waits until most everyone is in the mess, and heads down to Jim's. 

He's not home. Likely at dinner or, god forbid, still working.

She runs her hands over old worn panels, checking readings, and making tiny adjustments.

"You always had a talent for finding that perfect balance between too much stress on the system, and keeping everything running. It's not going to be the same without you."

She looks up to Jim standing in the doorway.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't do that. You deserve to be happy. You remember when you were little? I used to find you up in the dome after lights out, staring into the stars. It used to scare the crap out of David."

They don't talk about her parents much. But she does remember sneaking out, trying to find the best spots to see the stars.

"I used to think someday Angels would come save us all. Then Miss Thomas made her views on the Empathetic races part of school. I don't remember it being like that when Mom was alive."

"It wasn't. We used to have a lot more contact but… but then your mom died. Some people blamed the Chornuns who had been hired to help. Others thought it was an accident. It just kind of broke everyone a little. Your mom was really something special."

"I think that's the most you've talked about her in seventeen years. I didn't know you knew so much about her."

"I didn't want to ruin the way you thought about them." Jim comes over, and pushes the hair back from her face. "They loved you so much, just don't forget that when you're out in the stars okay?"

"You were pretty awesome too."

"I did what I could. I tried hard to do right by your mom. I don't know if anyone ever told you I loved her. Not like you loved Teddy. Probably closer to the way you feel about Zavian but… but it couldn't happen. Too many common genetics."

No one had ever told her and the news hits her hard.

"How… weren't you like way younger than she was?"

"That's not really important. What is important is that you know I have loved you like you were mine, from the day you were born. A little space is not going to change that."

She turns back to the panels to hide the tears in her eyes.

"How did you know."

"Because Teddy's a fucking moron. The only reason you haven't run off yet is because you felt bad about doing it. You should go. You should just be happy. For me, and your mom, and everyone else. Just be happy."

He presses a kiss to the top of her head, and finally she feels like she's doing the right thing.

* * *

"I hereby call to order, the council of the Independent Human Planet of Whatever."

Kate sits at the head of the council table, with Jim to her left and Mrs. Thomas to her right. Jim was the one who asked her to call a formal meeting. She agreed only because it would make his life easier to have a formal hand off.

"First order of business is announcements. I'm stepping down as head of the Colony." A cheer goes up from those gathered.

"Per the regulations as recognized by the GA, I will be transferring legal possession of the Dome, and all contents within to James Brill. It becomes effective as of 0 hour Galactic Standard time."

The outcry is less jovial and more angry this time.

"I don't care anymore. I just don't. You're so full of hate, that you have forgotten that we're all dying. Today, tomorrow--sixty years from now. It doesn't matter, because there's going to be a moment when you don't get another one. You don't get to laugh, or cry, or fall in love, and I'm wasting that on you. I'm wasting it on people that make me hate myself.” She pauses, to catch her breath, preparing herself for the next announcement.

“So I'm leaving. Zavian, the Ennochian you have condemned me for even speaking to, has offered me a life away from here. I'm going because I can't imagine it would be any worse than suffering your spite for the rest of my life. Fuck you I'm out." It feels like a million pounds have been lifted off her as she heads back to her rooms. Her pad blinks with a message. 

_ Kitten, _

_ I apologise in advance for changing the timeline on you again, but when the Royal Empress of the Great Enochian Empire tells you to get your ass on her ship, there is very little room to decline. In the good news, it's much faster as well as more comfortable. I will send you another message when we find a stable geosynchronous orbit, so that we can deploy the landing transport.  _

_ A ship this size can't put down on the surface, so we will drop it, and it will seal itself around your airlock. Then you just get on, and we'll pull you back up. _

_ I can't wait to see you, and hold you, and just feel you in person. Please be warned, I intend to spoil the fuck out of you.  _

_ Zavian Da'Len _

_ I'm ready whenever. I've said my goodbyes. Jim is being so amazing, and so supportive. Everyone else is just, well you know. It makes me feel like I'm making the right choice. _

_ Your Kitten _

She grabs her bag and heads to her favorite spot to watch the stars. Soon she'll be out among them, and everything here will be nothing more than a bad memory.

* * *

She had been trying to remember all her made up names for the unique constellations here, when she sees it. It's bigger than any ship she's ever seen, and she watches in awe as it seems to hover directly overhead. 

Her pad chimes with an incoming message.

_ Knock knock. Can my Kitten come up to play? _

_ Zavian Da'Len _

_ You are a spaz. Gimmie like ten minutes to get out. _

She climbs down from the dome, and heads for the entrance.

Charlie is sleeping in front of the airlock when she gets there. 

She crouches down to shake him awake.

"Hey honey bunny. Shouldn't you be in your bed?"

He looks like he cried himself to sleep.

"Mama said you were going away like Daddy. You were going away forever, and ever."

"No! Charlie not like that. You can call or get Jim to write, and I'll write back. I promise, okay?"

Charlie pulls an old crumpled shipping manifest out of his pocket.

"It's for you, so you never forget me when you’re in heaven with the Angels."

He shoves it into her pocket, and throws his arms around her in a crushing hug.

"We love you Miss Katie. Please don't forget."

Behind him the transport pod closes over the airlock, and the doors open.

"That's my ride Charlie."

He drops a big sloppy kiss on her cheek. 

"I can live here?"

He touches her chest just over her heart.

"Always. No one can ever take that, even when I'm with the Angels."

Charlie smiles then.

"Ok, you too!"

She slips past him into the waiting pod, and as the doors shut closing the dome she realizes this is the first time she's ever been past that point. 

An Alien voice chimes out, almost musical in quality but she has no idea what they're saying. It repeats itself a few times before another voice, one much more familiar cuts in.

"Kitten you need to be in the seat, and fully secured before we can pick you up."

She looks around, there's a ledge just over her head, about six feet back, but no seats.

"I don't see one Zave."

"Shedan lat. I forgot to put the steps in. So if you go to the left, there should be some holes you can use to climb up maybe?"

She looks at the ledge, it's not that far. She backs up to the door.

"If you don't want to climb, we can let you off then pull it back up, so I can put the stairs in."

"I got this. Stairs are for pussies anyway."

She takes a run at it, plants her foot halfway up the wall, and boots herself to plant her hands on the shelf, and push herself up.

"Sherish atass bekken lat. Don't do that. You made my heart stop."

"It's like a six foot fall. It's not even a deal."

She looks down the ledge and sees a single seat. She gets settled in, and starts finding, and securing straps.

The automated voice chimes in again and the lights dim to half.

"Alright Kitten we need to close communication for a minute just remember to breathe okay?"

"I got this."

"I know you do."

For a moment nothing happens, then everything tilts back, as they pull away from the air lock. She takes a deep breath and then…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I also started posting Dragon (W)horde! And I think it's comments are broken. Granted it's all sex and set up so far and the actual story is blowing up in 3 but still... It's not BAD... right?... this is why I hate posting all I do is wonder what I did wrong it's worse than dating. 
> 
> Also I want to remind you all that I tagged for things that give you hints... 
> 
> Also Athena goes for treatment on the 8th and it looks like we're going to have to run a loan to pay for the rest.


	6. Chapter 6

"Kitten! I really need you to wake up for me."

He sounds like he's a million miles away right now, and she's struggling to focus on the pinprick of light in front of her. She reaches up, grabbing at the harness, trying to pull it away so she can breathe, when she's suddenly free and falling forward. No not falling, she's being turned upside down.

Suddenly, it's easier to breathe, and she pulls a full breath in, then another. Fresh cool air fills her lungs. It's strange the number of things that become incredibly trivial when you can't breathe. Like the fact that the hand spanning her chest is literally spanning her whole chest, and she's laying across someone's knees. 

"Come on Kitten, breathe for me."

That's Zavian holding her with one hand, the other gently rubbing her back!

"How fucking tall are you?" She manages to croak. He chuckles softly.

"Six Imperial units, if that means anything to you. You promised to breathe."

"Nobody told me everything was going to try to push into my feet." 

She would wager this isn't the first time he's manhandled someone of her size, because as he turns her back around, he seems to know where hands need to go to keep her stable. She's still struggling with her train of thought, when he gets her back into what she now assumes to be a booster seat.

This wasn't how she had planned this in her head. She would smile, and he would smile, then she would kiss him, and there wouldn't be any general need to puke because all her organs are in the wrong place.

Not to mention, he wasn't like a million feet tall in her imaginings.

She takes a moment to take him in, never having been overly sure of what he would actually look like. 

He's mostly human, although his pupils are slitted like a snake, and there are horns curling back from the edge of his dark hair. His shirt is little more than gathered fabric crossed in an X over his chest, leaving most of it bare. He crouches in front of her, so they're eye to eye, one hand resting gently on her thigh, the heel of his palm at her knee while his fingertips nearly reach her hip. Her stomach flips just thinking about the fact that he's actually touching her.

Someone behind him says something, and when she goes to look, the motion makes her dizzy, forcing her to close her eyes.

"Do you want something to drink?" Zavian asks softly his fingers, stroking the side of her thigh. His touch makes her heart trip over itself. 

"It might just make me puke, and I don't think my pride can take that right now." 

"How about if I ask everyone else to fuck off? Would that be better?"

Alone with Zavian is a suddenly terrifying-amazing-horribly-awesome possibility. 

She can hear the person behind him speak again, and he answers. 

"My Mother thinks you should try the drink. Does Jim do that? Insist he's the only one who knows anything."

She cracks one eye, and finds the dizzy has faded enough she can open them again.

She lays her hand on his, and finds that she can circle two fingers with the span of her hand.

She leans very close, and hisses in a whisper.

"Your mother is here?"

"Well, she was already going to see the Nebula." Zavian smiles wickedly, as his hand slips down the length of her leg, and tugs on her foot gently.

"I am not prepared to meet your mother." Not while he keeps touching her like that at least. It's very distracting, and she's having a hard time not thinking about all the things he promised to do to her. 

"Would you rather meet the Ennochian Empress?" He pulls off her shoe, and his thumb strokes the bottom of her foot, rubbing circles into her skin, and she's sure he's trying to distract her from the topic at hand.

"What!?" This just got so much worse.

"Because you're going to have to speak to one of them. I really can't get you out of it."

"Can I just have the drink, and not meet anybody?" It's a compromise right?

"You can't not meet  _ anybody _ . It's a pretty long walk back to our room from here, and this is a very large ship. You don't have to talk to anyone, but we did literally come out of our way to to pick up one wild Terran, and there's a lot of curiosity about the Queen of the Independent Terran Colony of Whatever. How about you just meet my mother, then we go lay down. I'm assuming you had to get up to meet us, since the dome lights are off."

For a long beat she can't process anything past, ”You told them I was a queen?"

He grins widely, and her heart stutters at the sight of his mouth.

"You have fangs!"

He laughs loud and long, in a way that ripples through his whole body, and a woman peeks around the doorway smiling down at him. She's beautiful with silver hair, and delicate blue eyes. No horns, with normal eyes, and no fangs.

It's his mother. There's no one else in the universe it could be. No one else could look at you with such joy, and pride, and love, all at once. There's a throb of longing deep in her heart for her own mother.

He half turns, and says something to her. In turn she steps into the increasingly full transport pod, and holds her hand out palm up and open.

"She's asking if it's okay to touch you. You can put your hand on hers, if you don't mind."

He's still got her leg in his hand, continuing to rub her foot gently, and that contact keeps her grounded, as she reaches out to lay her hand across the woman's outstretched fingers. 

"I am made of joy to meet you. You look terrible."

Zavian almost speaks up when Kate cuts him off.

"If you ruin that for her, I will stab you in the face. Please tell your mother thank you, and she is like the prettiest alien I know."

Zavian's mother smiles even wider, and Kate finds that the bright glow of her joy is infectious.

"I think she got that better than words, Kitten. Thank you so much. That was beautiful."

Zavian pushes her pant leg up to her knee, as he strokes up her calf.

"I probably should have learned more about like, how you do things. I feel like I have no idea about what's going on."

He leans in close until he's face to face with her.

"Do you trust me Kitten?"

"No." She smiles.

"Liar." He comes close enough to whisper right against her ear. "I won't let anything bad happen to you."

Then he licks her ear. The tip of his tongue traces the curve around, before he sucks her earlobe back between his teeth, and her whole body shudders in a strange mix of thrilled and mortified. 

"Zavian!" His mother slaps him on the shoulder, scolding, sending him into a fit of laughter that makes Kate laugh, and his mother seems mollified.

He answers her in Enochian, and she looks back and forth between them, before seemingly being satisfied with his answer.

"She says I shouldn't embarrass you. You still haven't even seen the second courting gift, and you could meet someone else who won't tease you and leave me."

"That's not happening. I don't want to have to start training a whole new Alien from scratch. l just don't want her to feel  _ that  _ coming from me. That's your Mom, Zave!"

"Thank you for respecting my mother. But we don't lie to each other, we don't hide the truth of our feelings. If I never made you Ashanna, it would be worse than if it happens every time you look at me."

"That is going to take some getting used to."

"I'm glad to help." He leans in, and presses a kiss to her forehead. 

Out of the corner of her eye, she sees his mother slip back out of the room.

"You want to tell me what else I should expect? Or is this all surprises from here out?"

He laughs again.

"Well my sister, and her husbands, are here. She brought her Terrans, but that can wait until you're ready. Most people won't attempt to touch you. Mostly because I am very scary. But they are trying to be nice. We do a lot of touching."

"I noticed." She smiles as she hears her other shoe hit the floor.

"Personally, I would prefer you naked, but I will always support as much or as little as you want to wear. The common rule is if it's bare you're okay with it being touched."

"So you just want to touch me everywhere."

"I thought that was already clear." 

He pulls her forward by her ankles, until she's sitting on the bench, her legs hanging off, and he's got her hips in his hands holding her like he's afraid of dropping her. He dips his head down to kiss the soft skin of her neck, making her pulse jump.

"I want to ravish every inch of you. I want to be the center of your joy, and your rage, and the intoxicating feeling of your shame. I want to feed you from my body, and feast at your table. You fill my Kaia with joy, even when you're angry with me."

She wants to melt into a gooey puddle. In the end she just says the only thing that comes to mind. 

"Cool."

"Yeah I think so too."

"Master Zavian."

He heaves a deep, and weary sigh.

"Adra, we're busy." He says flatly, clearly displeased.

"Yes sir, but the Captain has openly stated if you do not vacate the transport in the next six seraten. We will miss our window to make the jump past Takaben, and will arrive  _ later than you would like to _ ."

He pulls a face. 

Kate just smiles, and reaches out to take his face in her hands.

"Zavian we have lots of time. We should probably get moving."

"Anything for you."

He turns to press a kiss into her wrist, before picking her up off the bench, with one arm under her ass, holding her up so her face is level with his.

"Oh my God! Put me down I can walk."

"But you have no shoes. Your poor feet!"

She levels him with a dead stare, but still can't help but find it a little funny.

"My shoes are-"

Zavian kicks them out into the hallway, and out of spite she changes the rest of the sentence.

"-not the issue. Didn't someone tell you not to infringe on my right to be self sufficient."

"You're killing me here. I've finally gotten you here in my arms, and you won't let me hold you."

"Master Zavian you have two seraten remaining to exit the transport." 

"Adra says we don't have time to argue about it. So you should just put me down." 

He sets her down. Barefoot and standing next to him, she barely reaches his hip. Out of an instinct from her childhood, she reaches up and takes his hand, for a moment he just looks at their joined hands almost surprised before stepping out into the hall. 

It's narrow, only a few meters long, and at the other end, she can see a man with very large white wings standing in front of the doorway. Wearing a very similar top to Zavian's, Kate supposes it's likely intended to let the wings through. Zavian lays a hand gently between the man's shoulders, above his wings, and he steps aside giving them a nod. Once out, the door shuts behind them, only a moment later she can feel as the ship starts to move, and she grabs the wall.

Zavian crouches beside her, offering his free hand palm up.

"It's alright Kitten. That's perfectly normal." She lets go of the wall to put her hand on his, as she had done with his mother.

"It's really happening, I'm really leaving."

He smiles gently.

"Are you still okay with it?"

"Fuck yes."

"Alright. Just let me know if you get tired of walking."

They go on down the empty hallways for a few more minutes, before she's hit with a sudden sense of vertigo. 

Nothing here is familiar, from the script on the walls, to the texture of the floor beneath her feet. If she absolutely had to she couldn't find her way back to the pod. The pod with her bag! Oh fuck!

Zavian comes to a sudden stop and scoops her up holding her against his chest.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on?"

"I'm fine I just…"

He arches a single brow, and it becomes apparent he's not going to drop it.

"I left my bag in the thing. It's not important."

Zavian holds her with one arm, and strokes the hair back from her face with the other.

"Binnom has your bag, Kitten. He feels very honored to be trusted with the only things you brought from Whatever." 

She nods softly, wishing she had asked more questions about what was in store. Teddy just knew how to push all of her buttons. And now she's gone running headfirst into an uncertain future, that she knows nothing about. 

He simply holds her for a long moment, as she tries to sort out the jumble of things she's feeling. The only thing she knows for sure, is Zavian won't let anything bad happen to her.

"I think I'm tired of walking." She says softly. She doesn't want to think about it. Especially the reasons behind her panic spiral. She just wants the thing she was promised, she wants to be loved.

"I've got you." He strokes her back gently and she just relaxes against his chest. 

He keeps a steady up and down stroke of her back. It feels incredible to just be held safely away from all the bad things in the world.


	7. It's a matter of size.

The slow stroke on her back begins to extend down to her ass. She tries to remind herself this is a different place, with different people, and different rules. She has to trust him.

His fingers push down into the cleft of her ass spreading her cheeks until one thick finger pushes at her asshole. 

She squeaks in surprise, and Zavian hums softly. 

"You are really sensitive Kitten. That's going to be fun."

"I thought you said under clothes was off limits." She mumbles into his shoulder.

"Then tell me to stop." He shifts and pulls one leg around his waist so she straddles his hip. It puts her entrance right over the sharp jut of his hip, and the rolling motion against her caused by his gait makes her squirm worse.

"You're fucking evil."

"You have no idea." 

This isn't anything like touching herself. Every sensation is sharper and deeper than before. She's caught between his hand, and hip, and running from one just pushes her into the other, until she's not sure if she's chasing the sensations or running from them, and without warning it all becomes too much, and she shatters screaming into his shirt.

He shifts her a few inches up, and moves his hand to cup her ass, rather than invade it.

"You're so fucking beautiful. So beautiful Kitten."

"I hate you." She mumbles into him. He laughs, and hikes her higher so they're face to face once more.

"I am thoroughly enjoying your hatred."

He lifts her chin with two fingers, and kisses her gently. 

It's the most innocent of gestures, but it makes her heart beat double. She can't help but notice how soft his lips are. 

He pulls back softly, and there is something so serious in his features, she's afraid he's about to tell her the world is ending

"Let me be the one to make you happy."

"That's why I'm here. You-"

"ZAVIAN!"

Kate is cut off by the jubilated cry of young woman. Her hair skin is golden, and her hair is the color of fresh warm bread. Her smile is devastating and Kate loses all ability to think past how gorgeous she actually is. Her wings are spread wide behind her, and Kate is sure she must be a queen, or even the Empress herself. She babbles on in Enochian for a moment before Zavian cuts her off sharply. They go back and forth for a moment, and she sees the tension growing in Zavian. 

Then slowly, the glow of her skin starts to fade. She folds her wings down, and while still one of the most beautiful women Kate has ever seen, she is something closer to reality.

"I swear she promised not to pull that shit, I am so sorry."

Kate is once again the center of his attention as he fusses over her. He checks her pulse and her pupils.

"I'm fine, Zave I'm fine."

"Zave?" The woman giggles.

"Fuck off." It falls out before Kate thinks about it, and they both go silent staring at her, and she realizes she has no idea who she just cussed.

Zavian smiles first, then the woman laughs and reaches out toward Kate, but he slaps her hand away.

"Katherine Raleigh, I would like to introduce you to my sister Keondra. Please try to ignore her excessive vanity. She doesn't have any manners."

Kate smiles, and offers the woman her hand with a grin.

"I am made of joy to meet you. You look terrible." 

Zavian half snorts, half laughs but Keondra seems pleased and takes her hand pressing a kiss to her wrist. 

They seem to settle whatever business she had, and she leans in and kisses his cheek before spinning on her heel, and flouncing off.

"She's a little extra isn't she?" Kate mutters.

"I don't know what that means, but it feels like you're unimpressed, so I agree. I can't believe she just… ugh. She promised not to splendor you, and then she went and did it anyway."

"You know, Teddy has six sisters."

"What?" She smiles softly as she has clearly derailed his train of thought.

"You were making this face, and I was curious if that's the same face you make when we discuss my ex. It is by the way. It's this kind of, I just ate bad soy curd face."

He laughs and reaches over to tap the wall behind her. 

She turns to find it's opened to a room not unlike those she sees in vacation advertisements. Somewhere she can hear the flow of water running, the bed sits in the middle of the room covered by gauzy curtains, and piles of pillows lay around. 

He lets her slide to the floor and she steps in cautiously.

"You don't have to learn to live with any of it. This isn't even my first choice we can get things moved or-"

"Is something leaking?"

She follows the sound of flowing water around the corner, where a four foot by four foot square of the floor is missing, and water just flows past.

"That's the uh… Adra?" 

"Facilities." The voice from earlier answers.

"She's your secretary right?" He had mentioned her several times. 

"She's my babysitter. It's her job to make sure I don't start a war."

As she explores, Kate finds a little cubby under the counter. There's a pile of pillows, and a comm pad set in the wall. It's clearly designed for someone her size.

"I am your assistant. I am here to assist you with anything you need. I have been empowered to define need."

The cadence of her speech seems so precise, Kate begins to wonder if Adra is a program.

"Is she like, a person?" She asks Zavian while she continues to explore. 

"That's complicated. She's absolutely capable of being offended by the argument that she is not a person."

Kate has just found another cubby filled with pillows, when a speaker right next to her ear goes off a little louder than necessary. 

"There has been an inquiry if you will be joining the others for dinner."

She climbs back out of the hideaway, trying to clear the ringing in her ears. 

"No, Kitten's tired. We're going to stay in for the night."

"I'm tired?" She's so wired right now, she couldn't sleep if she wanted to.

"You're about to be." His grin is her only warning" before he closes the distance between them. He scoops her up, grabbing her under the arms, and tossing her across the room, onto the bed.

There's no bounce in the mattress, it just absorbs the force, letting her gently come to a stop. She's not a big fan. Beds should be bouncy and…

And Zavian just pulled his top wrap off in a single fluid motion, that sort unraveled the whole thing, as he tossed it into the corner, and that is a whole lot of mostly naked man coming towards her.

He grins, as he hits the edge of the bed, and begins his slow climb toward her. 

"Tell me to stop any time Kitten, or not, begging for more is an option too."

He pushes one hand up beneath the hem of her shirt, until his fingertips brush the bottom of her breasts. 

"Let me feast upon the sight of my lover, and let her sit golden upon my tongue."

Zavian pushes her shirt up over her head, tossing it casually aside, never looking away from her eyes as he continues. 

"Let my lover sing to my soul with the music of her laughter."

He tugs at her breastband's knot, and when it doesn't come undone, he pulls a face.

"I feel like I'm being fairly patient. But this thing is…"

She reaches back one handed, and untwists the knot from the band, and pulls it apart. One handed she slowly pulls it to one side, as Zavian watches in open admiration.

"You were reciting me poetry." She prompts, grinning.

"Was I?"

He dips down to suckle at her breast, letting his tongue flick her nipple to a stiff peak before moving to the other. One hand moves to her hip, holding her in place as he lavishes attention on her freshly bared skin. 

"Oh fuck!" She cries, and arches up into him.

He pushes her back down into the mattress, refusing to let her move. 

"Not yet Kitten." He whispers, his breath hot against her skin. "Let me play with you a little."

His hands slip beneath the waistband of her pants, and he tugs them completely off, and tosses them off the edge of the bed.

"You might be the most beautiful thing I have ever known."

She's still struggling to think of a response, when he dips to kiss her belly sucking gently on her bare skin. 

"I gave Jim legal possession of the dome." It falls out of her mouth like an old toy dropping out of the top of an over full closet. It wasn't even remotely close to what she wanted to say.

"That sounds like a good move." His hand goes to her thigh cupping, it gently as he continues to kiss over her breasts, and body. He doesn't even miss a beat, but she can't stop kicking herself for saying that. Why is she so bad at this?

"Zavian?" Her voice wobbles, because apparently she wasn't having enough of a shame spiral. 

He groans, and drops his face into the mattress, mumbling something that sounds mildly unflattering, before he turns slightly to one side, face still in the mattress, "Yes Kitten?"

"I'm not, we don't, it's just that-"

He moves back up to kiss her gently on the corner of her mouth.

"It's okay. We can take a nap, or we can go join my family for dinner, or we can sit here and be together for a little while, just the two of us." 

"You're upset."

He hums, and starts pulling pillows down to tuck them around her.

"No, disappointed is not the same thing as upset. I promised myself I would be patient, because you were worth being patient for. When the day comes I want to be your choice."

He reaches over the edge of the bed, and begins to rummage around. 

She can't get over how beautiful he is. Why someone as amazing, and handsome, and wonderful would ever want to put up with her she doesn't know.

"I'm going to have to ask you to decide what you actually want." He says as he pulls a box up onto the bed with them.

"I want to be here with you." She says softly afraid he thinks she regrets her choice.

He smiles and leans back down to kiss her again.

"That's not what I meant."

He unlatches the top of the box and starts picking through it as he talks.

"I completely understand the scared and nervous. But you immediately went to regret when we stopped. Then you got all… ashanna. I don't know the English word. But now I want to fuck you again and it's making my head spin."

"I didn't mean to-"

"I know you didn't Kitten. You're not used to dealing with empaths. I know how you feel and what you mean when you say something. I know how you feel with trying to find words for something as deep and rich as your emotions. Verbal communication is very… limited. I know what you feel I just don't know why you feel it."

He seems to find what he was looking for and the box gets shoved back to the floor. He rolls back toward her keeping something behind his back. 

"I want you to be happy. So if you promise to tell me what you're thinking, I have a present for you." He pulls a small box from behind him and holds it over her. "I say present and you just get all sorts of happy."

She laughs a little relaxing.

"It's not that. I'm just feeling incredibly out of sorts. I think I really just need a nap. I haven't been to sleep yet and my body thinks it's the middle of the night."

He puts the box behind his back again.

"Let me be more specific. This," his hand slides up to cup her chest, "is okay. You like this. But if I-" His hand slides down to her thigh and her heart kicks higher.

"See you just did it again. So tell me what you're so afraid of."

"Oh my god…" she rolls into him burying her face in his chest. She hasn't bothered to dissect the reasons she begins to panic. People do this every day. She wants him to touch her she enjoys him touching her so why? 

"Is this any better?" He cups her ass pressing up between her cheeks and as his finger brushes over her bare hole and she arches into his body. "Is it just-"

All at once it spills out without her thinking too much on it.

"Oh my god! You're fucking huge okay! You've got to weigh like a thousand pounds you're a billion feet tall and- and- and I really don't want to find out there are like crazy barbs on your cock or like some weird ass shit that I'm not okay with." 

He laughs, not the gentle 'you're so cute' chuckle she had gotten used to over the comm or the happy laugh from the transport pod.

It's full on hysterical laughter that seems to threaten his ability to breathe. He laughs and laughs holding her right until it starts to fade and he looks down at her and it sets him off again. When it finally fades back he just smiles and pushes her hair back from her face. 

"There were questions about my what?"

"I hate you so much." She shoves at his chest and he laughs again.

"I'm sorry. Is that what you want?"

"No I want my very real concerns addressed! This isn't funny to me Zavian!" She smacks his chest.

"I didn't mean to laugh. I spent days trying to figure out how to have this conversation. I think I rehearsed it in my head a thousand times. Not once did it occur to me that you would actually ask about it. Do you want to see?"

"God help me, yeah I kinda do."

He rolls onto his back and slips his hands beneath the band of his own tight fitting shorts. In one swift move he pushes his shorts to his knees and lays back tucking his hands behind his head. 

He is as expected, fucking huge. There's a bumpy ridge on the underside leading to the flared tip. It's sharper than what she's seen of human men. More of a spade shape than a cap. She's not entirely sure if it's even physically possible for the two of them to actually fuck.

"You can touch it. It doesn't hurt."

She laughs, "Isn't that in a list of things boys tell girls in storybooks when they're thirteen trying to get laid."

She does however take him up on the offer. The ridge down the bottom is smooth and hard to the touch like a line of scales, but clearly sensitive as the slightest brush of her fingers has him groaning. 

There's still two inches of space between her middle finger and thumb when she wraps her hand around it. She slides along his length and feels a similar ridge beneath the skin on top. 

"How would it even fit?" The thought makes her body clench in response.

"There's ugh…" He grabs her wrist tightly enough to startle her. "Please Kitten, not yet."

"Sorry." She lets him go and his cock throbs in response.

"It's not an uncommon practice. Your body is very resilient." He reaches down taking her breast rolling it between his fingers. "We would stretch you slowly, teaching your body to take me. Do you want me inside you Kitten?" 

A thrill goes down her spine at the very idea. He tucks his hand under her arm pulling her up and over his chest. Her legs fall either side and she is keenly aware of how perfectly they're aligned. All he would have to do is push her down and he would be in her. He could make her fuck him with very little effort and there's nothing she could do to stop it. He's already shown how easily he can over power her. The intoxicating nature of that fact challenges everything she thought she knew about herself.

She's spent the whole of her life being in charge. She's a Raleigh, it was her duty to maintain a clear authority passed from one generation to the next. It just feels so good to have absolutely no control at all. 

The only thing stopping him is his desire for her to be happy. 

He puts one hand on her back and slides it down slowly over her ass to cup her from behind his long fingers reaching all the way around resting just a maddening fraction away from putting any pressure against her aching pussy. 

She groans in frustration and closes the distance and is rewarded with him rubbing back and forth against her clit. 

"Such a messy pussy Kitten." He whispers.

He shifts his hand spreading his fingers to hold her legs apart and pushing his middle finger just inside. She can feel her body stretch to accommodate him. He pushes just barely in before pulling back out and rubbing her clit once more before entering her again.

He fucks her like that slow and shallow for several long minutes pausing to slip out and rub her clit gently. 

"My poor Kitten. So confused about what she wants. Don't worry I'll take care of you."

Without ever pausing in his maddening rhythm he reaches for the bag again and sets it next to her.

"Open your present Kitten." 

She reaches in slowly and pulls out what appears to be a small yellow green bud it's leaves wrapped in a tight spiral around it. For a moment she isn't sure what it is or why he's giving it to her while she's in such a position.

Then he reaches out and taps the bottom and it slowly begins to unfold. It blooms in her hand the petals fading from yellow to green to blue and into the most beautiful shade of purple in the center then it begins to close once more. 

"My Kitten has such a pretty little ass I thought she needed something equally pretty to fill it up. Does my Kitten want her pretty new toy in her ass?"

His finger slides up to her ass hole and presses softly in. She nearly cums just from that but he quickly pulls away going back to rubbing her pussy. He repeats the process several times bringing her juices up and pressing in. He pushes just enough to make her want him to fill a place that had never been erotic before the first time he touched it.

She struggles to find words around the building desperate and obsessive need to cum. Nothing in her life had prepared her for this. It's a slow torture and all at once she wants it to go on forever and wishes it would end. Through each new thing he's been right there ahead of her fears and worries and has found ways to show her things she didn't know about herself. 

She's sitting on the edge of it being too much as she tries to get her brain to actually find words to beg him to stop when she can feel the soft tip of the bud push into her. The words she had tried so hard to find become a long wordless wail.

In the moment she feels like her soul lifts from the confines of her body and she becomes something perfect and true and good before falling back into herself. She can't control the shivers that go through her as Zavian continues to stroke in and out of her body with one finger no longer pushing in small shallow strokes instead his finger is almost completely inside her. She can feel the flower in her ass pushing against him sending shocks through her body.

"That's my good girl, so perfect." He presses a kiss to the top of her head. "Can you cum for me one more time Kitten? Can I fuck that perfect little wet pussy up just one more time?" 

She whimpers and nods against his chest.

He tugs her down until she can feel the head of his cock nudging between her thighs. He pushes her legs together trapping both his hand and his cock allowing him to push between her thighs in time with the movements of his hand on her pussy. He picks up his pace. This time he pushes all the way into her curling his finger back. It causes the bud in her ass to push back out slightly before it opening inside her pulls it deeper in creating a sensation where her ass and pussy alternatively are plunged driving her higher faster as his cock slides between her thighs.

She cums with a cry torn from the deepest parts of her soul at the same moment he explodes covering her back and ass with hot thick cum. He gives one final jerk and a single drop lands on her shoulder. 

Without thinking she leans over and licks it clean. It's sweet and creamy and unlike anything she's ever eaten before and Zavian let's out a tiny strangled noise when she does as his cock jerks again.

She files that away to remember to do it again.

Shivers run through her body as she lays across his chest. He strokes her from shoulder over the swell of her ass. Occasionally pushing against the base of the plug that moves inside her still.

"Did I break you again? You're a very quiet very pleased girl."

Words… she knows words but finding how they go together to put everything in her head out isn't working. 

"I didn't know… I mean I didn't know I wanted… that." 

He laughs softly. "It was a pleasant surprise all around. I know you don't want to move but we should get you cleaned up before everything starts to dry and it gets uncomfortable."

"Fine." She grumbles. 

"That's my good girl."

He holds her to his chest as he gets up and moves with her to the bath. He steps down into the flow of the warm water cupping it with his hand to scoop it over her and wash her clean.

"Do you want to eat before or after your nap Kitten?"

She wants to just lay here and let him keep petting her.

"Kitten?"

He pushes a finger into her again. She pushes down back against him. Then he begins to add another sliding it along beside the first. she can feel her body stretch to accommodate, it's a tight fit but not uncomfortable pulling a groan from her throat.

"If you don't care than I know what I want to do again."

"Mmmm…" she whines and shifts her hips. 

He's already inside her so it just gives him deeper access as he shifts and moves his fingers inside her he flutters his fingers back and forth hitting places inside she didn't know existed pushing her forward along an almost painful feeling of fullness. She cums faster than either of the two previous times. 

"Such a needy little Kitten with such a perfect little pussy. I can't wait to fill that pussy up all the way."

He keeps fingering her pussy stretching her open.

She cums one last time and begs, "No more, please. Oh God, please."

He slides his hand out of her abused pussy but the bloom in her ass continues.

"Zavian..."

It comes out on a whine and he chuckles softly. He pushes his finger in and taps the bottom. She can feel it close once more.

"You have to push for me Kitten."

"I can't."

"Then you're gonna have to keep it in Kitten."

"Good. It's mine anyway."

He laughs and leaves it be as he finishes washing her. 

She hasn't been bathed by another person since her mother died. She remembers Jim standing in the hallway shouting in asking if she washed her hair or between her toes and insisting that she had while absolutely not doing any of it to instead play in the water. 

"When you get up you should call Jim. He'll probably be happy to hear from you." He says as he climbs back out of the water and starts toweling her off.

"Or we can just go to dinner with your Mom. You should spend more time with her."

"There will be lots of chances to spend time with my Mother over this trip. For now you're going to get some sleep and then you will call Jim because he wants to hear that you're okay from you where he can see you and stop being worried."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just finished 8. Probably need to re read it to catch any obvious errors but I am down a Beta again. So be kind and for all that is holy...  
SAY NICE THINGS IN MY COMMENTS  
Otherwise I'mma go back to writing the truly fucked up thing that I will never ever put my name to.
> 
> Edit: I just reread the whole thing beginning to end and now I want to toss like... 90% of chapter Eight. I can do better if you can be patient and encouraging.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Into every life a little rain must fall.

There's a pervasive scratching noise that makes its way into her dream, and pulls her up convinced something new has broken, sending her into a panic.

"Hey, it's okay, you're okay." Zavian catches her before she manages to fling herself out of the bed. 

He pulls her into his lap, stroking her back softly trailing his fingers down her spine.

"It's okay, you're alright." The sounds of this place are going to take some getting used to, but her heart is still pounding, and her hands are shaking.

"What if something happens? What if I'm just ages and ages away and no one knows how to fix it?"

"They've been patching that relic for a thousand years. Nothing is going to happen in the next three days they can't handle." He lays his free hand palm up in her lap. She puts her hand in his in his palm, and he closes his fist around it gently, holding her whole hand in his.

"But-"

"Adra can you get James Brill on an audio call please? Oh and give them the okay to send dinner up."

A chime rings eight or nine times before she can hear James, "Uh, Hello?"

She nearly chokes on something half sob, half laugh, and can't respond.

"Kate wanted to make sure you weren't burning the dome down." Zavian says with a grin down at her, lifting her hand up, and pressing a kiss to her palm. 

"No, uh not exactly. Hey can you, very like casually, ask her if she remembers the code on the big lockbox? But don't make it sound like I need to get into it."

"What the fuck Jim?"

"Oh, hi, didn't know you were there. How are you? Having a good time? Do I need to file a treaty violation with the GA?" The asshole sounds very pleased with himself.

"No! No! Back to the box! Why the fuck do you need to get into the box James?"

If she was worried before, Jim trying to get into the gun safe was enough to start a full panic.

"I wanted to get you on the line. There's someone here who has been camped in my office waiting to speak to you."

Kate finally relaxes.

"Hey Charlie."

"Uh, not Charlie."

It's a young woman, and Kate could swear she knows that voice but she's having problems placing it.

"So Teddy was bitching about you leaving last night after the meeting. Said you were running off to fuck an Alien, but it's more food for everyone else, and I was like wondering…"

"Yeah?" She's pretty sure it's Teddy's youngest sister Virginia. She hasn't really spoken to the girl in a few years now.

"Does he like, need anyone else? Or know anyone even remotely interested in adopting me? I can be like super well behaved!"

Zavian laughs and nods. Kate furiously shakes her head.

"Ginny that's not a solution."

"Uh, yeah it is? You think I wanna get stuck married to Gerdie, and then spend the next ten years dropping babies just so we don't all end up retarded? I wanna do stuff, and get like totally molested by Aliens and stuff!"

"GINNY!"

"Just ask for me, because I'm not the only one wondering, and I promised to tell everyone what you said."

"It's complicated Ginny. There are limits to how many people can be courted from colonies." Zavian at least backs her up, and she only half hopes it's bullshit. She's not ready to know he can lie so easily.

"Well just me then. Please?"

"Lemmie talk to Jim, I'll get back to you."

She can hear Ginny sigh before handing the comm back.

"She wants to talk to you. I'm going to go, and hate everything about my stupid life." 

She hears Ginny stomp out of the office slamming the door on the way. She remembers how everything felt like the end of the world at fifteen.

"Hey, kid. You alright out there?"

"Just homesick."

"Well you tell that shithead he can come stay with us sometime too, you don't have to be a stranger."

She looks up at Zavian, and already knows that he might fit through the airlock, but with the exception of the Mess hall, she doesn't think he would fit through any of the doors inside.

"We'll think about it. Hey I'm gonna send you some stuff that I already know we need, and you can just let me know if there is anything else. Weirdly enough I'm still worried about all you Jackholes."

"We're gonna be just fine. You enjoy your freedom. I love you. And you tell that fuckwad if he so much as fails to cherish the fuck out of you, I'm gonna come up there and kick his ass man to man."

Kate laughs knowing if Jim knew what she knew, it wouldn't make a difference.

"I'll bring the ladder."

"Alright. Go do unspeakable things to each other and never, ever, tell me. Okay?"

"Great idea! Bye Jim!"

The line cuts off, and Zavian dips down to kiss her slowly, and deeply until she can feel the stress of moments ago slipping away into the kiss. 

"You are incorrigible!"

"I have no idea what that means, but I like the way you feel when you say it." He grins and strokes the side of her face gently. 

She startles when the door opens, and two winged people enter the room carrying trays. They set them beside the bed, where they sort of hover mid-air just above the level of the bed.

"Holy shit! How does that work?"

"It's…" Zavian waves his hand about vaguely, "complicated."

"You have no idea!" She giggles. 

"Isn't that what I just said?" He tickled her side making her shriek with laughter. 

Beside the bed, one of the servers sighs wistfully, and Kate blushes in embarrassment. 

Zavian growls something in their general direction, and they hurry back out the door.

"You were not fucking kidding about being scary huh?"

"To be honest, I was pretty sure you were gonna take one look at me and run. I hadn't been exactly forthright about, well everything."

"Oh that thing that makes your mother look at you like she hasn't seen you smile, and will cause your Empress to demand to meet the weird girl you're trying to enslave."

"It's not slavery, and yes I am talking about my being De'ren. And no I don't mind talking about it. Not with you. You are the only reason I'm not dead now."

He trails his fingers down her spine, his expression serious, and she begins to think she should have done more research because she has no idea what he's talking about. She just wanted a chance to know him as a person, independent of the general hatred the free people had for empaths.

"It's not freedom. There is no freedom at your side. Legally I'm not a real person."

He frowns his brow drawing together.

"I wish you could see it differently."

She kisses the bare expanse of his chest softly.

"Everything is it's own sort of cage. If I had never met you, right now I would be running checks on every sensor in the dome. One that fries usually means several more are getting ready to go. I would worry. Every minute of every day, that any moment one bad thing too many was going to kill us all, and it would be completely my fault. Because my family led the rebellion there, and Josiah Raleigh made them a promise. That so long as there was a single Raleigh living, we would always take care of them. I wasn't any less trapped there."

She can't stop the wave of guilt that washes over her. She abandoned them all. 

"I gave the order that got one of my fathers killed. And then I fell." He reaches out to grab the first of the two trays, and pull it toward them. It doesn't even wobble.

"I have a feeling there's a lot to unpack in all that so, why don't you tell me what falling is." 

He picks over the bowls, and sets one in her lap. It doesn't appear to have any sort of base to be able to put it down, and the edge of the bowl is surrounded by a rim at least two inches wide, like they expect her to dump it over. It's filled with globby little balls that squish between her fingers without breaking.

"Are you going to eat it or play with it?" Zavian reaches for the other tray.

"I'll eat when you explain." She laughs trying to keep the mood light.

He huffs a bit, and picks over the tray refusing to look at her while he talks.

"My people have two hearts. In order for them to work effectively they must beat as one."

She puts the little squashy ball in her mouth. Immediately it bursts into a salty savory liquid that just pours down her throat, and she nearly chokes in surprise.

"Do I need to feed you too Kitten?"

"I got this. You were telling me about your hearts." 

She picks up another one and pops it in her mouth. It's like a broth in a little pod, that dissolves when she closes her mouth. Now that she knows what to expect it's much easier.

"It's possible, for them to fall out of sync. When that happens your wings start to die. It's a very slow, very painful process that if allowed to continue will eventually kill you."

There is no good response to such a thing. So she nods, and keeps eating, just letting him talk about it in his own time.

"At the time I wanted to die. I felt like I should die, like I deserved it. So my mother sent me to the summer house to live my last days in a place of peace, where I could embrace the De'rah to its full extent."

"You went into seclusion to die." It's not a judgement. She understands the draw for solitude when your pain is that deep.

"I did. But it was lonely, and I went looking for someone who understood that, unending emptiness."

"So how did you end up finding me?"

He finally quits his agitated fussing, and looks down at her in his lap. 

"There was this video of a Terran funeral. You were so young, and in so much pain, more than anyone I had ever known, but it wasn't empty. You filled it with smaller, lesser things. I must have watched this half seraten moment of you standing there, clinging to a man I can only assume was Jim, and thanking those around you for being patient."

"It was Jim." 

She didn't know there was a video of her father's funeral.

"I found your diary next. I wanted to know everything about you."

"That must have been such a disappointment."

"It was amazing. Here try this. I was almost positive you were going to hate those." He hands her another bowl, also filled with the squishy little pods, but these are darker in color.

These are not quite liquid. It's closer to a mash than anything else.

"So explain what my blog had to do with your Dur…"

He laughs, "My De'rah or falling to De'ren?"

"Yes that."

"I wish some days that I had laid down beside him, and let the Pyre consume me. I wish that it had burned the flesh from my bones, and I lay beside them among the trees."

It's almost uncomfortable to hear her own words come back. It was such a dark time for her. 

"I was going to kill myself after that."

"I know. I never really understood what happened."

She can't forget.

"I went out to the forest and uh… Charlie was there. Sitting under the tree that we planted over his father's ashes."

"Charlie's the one whose, damaged?"

"Inbreeding is a big danger in a closed system, but his parents were half siblings. They were having an illegal affair. Honestly, if it wasn't for Charlie, I would have thrown his bitch mother out an airlock at least a dozen times."

Zavian laughs, and picks up a piece of fruit from his own plate. He does not get squashy pods, and she's a little jealous.

"So anyway, Charlie's sitting under the tree, and singing this really old song. And he just comes over, and hugs me."

Zavian takes a shuddering breath in, and she sinks into that feeling, trying to remember the moment perfectly.

The way Charlie clung to her like he was drowning too, and she held him back, and they both cried until they fell asleep like that, and the next morning the lights came on, and she walked him home before his mama woke up. She had a special place in her heart for him after that, and she likes to think she held one in his too.

"If I had known you then, it's very possible I would have caused an intergalactic incident that night."

She laughs mostly because she believes him.

"Well I'm glad we're both still alive, I just don't understand what nearly killing myself had to do with it."

"Because the very next thing you said was, 'There have been four births since my father died, two more deaths, and eight weddings. I have woken up to fifteen hundred new days, and each and every one of them is a day I have not made the people who love me hurt because I was not here.' And each day after that there wasn't any less pain, it just existed beside your joys. And more than anything in the world, I wanted to feel that. I wanted to be," he leans down until his nose brushes hers, and kisses her gently. "Just this close to you. I wanted to feel hope in the darkness. I wanted it more than I had wanted anything else in my life and I knew, that if I was gone the day would come when you wouldn't be able to save everyone you loved, and there would be no one left to save you in turn. So I got my grandmother's ceremonial sword off the wall and I cut my wings off."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't noticed I have a degree in Philosophy.  
This is how I use it.   
Don't go to college go to trade school.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi SSB here as the actual author of this story it will no longer be published here.
> 
> I have been Doxxed on another site and my account is being wiped for privacy concerns.


End file.
